Hey Mikey, she likes it!

I did it! I successfully completed my first mountain bike ride! What? you're saying to yourself, Janie went on a mountain bike ride?  Yes I did.

It all started when I went for a walk in Whiting Ranch with my friend Marlene.  It was beautiful and peaceful inside the park and we were really enjoying ourselves.  We should do this every Tuesday and Thursday.  We were passed several times by women riding mountain bikes and I thought to myself, "This doesn't look very hard.  It would be fun to ride in here".  I then fantasized  that Marlene and I could secretly ride in the park every week without our husbands knowing and then one day as they were getting ready to go on their ride, we would just pop out and ask to go with them.  They would laugh and scoff at us and then we would blow them away with our riding ability.  Well, reality hits:  I don't have a bike to ride, I don't know how to use all those gears and I don't know where I'm going once I get into the park.

So, I suggested to Bob that we go on an EASY, BEGINNER mountain bike ride.  He knew just the place. He immediately picked up the phone and secured a "Test Bike" for me from Rock & Road Cyclery where all his buddies work.  We went down that day to pick up the bike.  Not knowing if I would like it or not, I didn't want to spend alot of money on things I didn't need.  

We agreed that I would need bike shorts.  I found some.  "That's it, thats all you need." said Bob.  I look around, "Oh, I need a helmet",  "yeah you need a Helmet" says Bob.  He helps me fit one on my head.  "Oh, you need a water bottle", "yeah, I do".  "Thats it, thats all you need".  Great!  They ask me some questions about riding the bike, including my "riding weight"!  What!!!  I send Bob away and tell Nikki the magic number.  "Do you think I need a shirt?"  "Yeah, if you don't want to be soaking wet at the end of the ride". I add a shirt.  $181.00 later, we leave.  Gee, no pressure, I hope I like it!!! I've made quite an investment!  

Early Sunday morning we load the bikes on the car and head for Blackstar Cyn.  Bob tells me it is a really easy ride on a wide fire road.  It is the easiest ride they go on.  Well, let me tell you, I completed 5.75 miles and it was 2.875 miles of TORTURE and 2.875 miles of TERROR!  Let me explain.

I decide to ride the bike around a little while Bob puts on his shoes, I notice immediately that the seat is really hard.  It hurts my butt to sit on it.  I mention that to Bob.  He says, "You'll get pass it and it won't hurt anymore after a few RIDES!  Okay.  We go beyond the gate, I like it, it is a nice wide paved road.  It is straight and no incline.  Sweet!!! Made for me.   Bob points to the side of tall hill and tells me that is part of the trail.  WHAT!!!  I begin to wonder what I got myself into.  We then enter the dirt road that is the trail.  Sure it is 8 feet wide, but only about two feet of it is ridable!  There is gravel, rutts, and holes.  Half the time is spent riding on the wrong side of the trail because the right side is unnavigational for me!  Delaney calls Bob at this point, "where are you guys?", "we're on a mountain bike ride." "Oh, but where is mom?"  We begin the climb, Bob has shown me how to use the gears and I'm gearing lower and lower making it easier and easier to go uphill.  Soon I'm in the easiest gear, pedaling like mad to go up the incline.  Bob doesn't even have to shift at all, he's still in his high gear.  I'm sweating like a pig and breathing heavy.  Bob says, "Isn't it beautiful out here?"  I don't know because I am focused on the trail right in front of the bike, its all I can see.  I groan, Bob tells me that we haven't even begun the incline of the trail yet.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  He asks if I want to stop for a break, YES!!!  I stop.  I start to put my feet onto the ground.  My legs start to wobble, my stomach starts to hurt, I'm breathing soooo hard and my butt is killing me.  I feel like I'm going to throw up.  On top of all that, I start yawning like crazy.  What does that mean?  Why am I doing that?  I think my brain is trying to give my lungs more air.  Bob looks at me.  Janie, we have only been riding 10 minutes and have gone 1.9 miles.  (Before you laugh, it was mostly uphill).  He is worried about me.  I rest for 5 minutes and then we begin again.  I go slowly, slowly, slowly uphill.  We rest again at the 2.4 mile marker.  Then the crazy uphill begins.  I'm going to give it a try.  I get halfway up the section I can see and a pack of bikers are coming down the hill.  I pull over to the right.  They are going CRAZY FAST!  I just hide over to the side.  They scare me!  I get on the bike and I try to begin again. But I am going so steep uphill that I can't get any traction.  I pop a wheely!  I try again!  I get a cramp in my hip.  I try again. I pop another wheely.  Bob laughs at me.  Finally, I am able to get back on and ride. We go a little further and I am done.  2.785 miles up. " Now for the fun part!!!" Bob exclaims.

He jumps on his bike and before I know it he has made two major turns and all I see is his dust!  I'm sure he thinks I'm right behind him.  I see him look behind him, see I'm not there and stop.  I ride the brakes the whole way down. It is so scary.  The front wheel is jittery and squirrelly and moves all around.  That 2 feet of ridable space goes from one side to the other with lots of rutts and bumps and did I mention that over the side is a 50 foot sheer drop!!!  Bob waits for me and we go down together.  I like it when he is in front and I can watch where he is going.  He gets in back of me.  I feel like if I fall, he will run over me, I tell him to get in front.  He tells me to slide off the seat and lean down and back while going down hill.  No problem, did I mention that my butt is killing me from that damn seat!  We are down the hill and done before you know it.  All it all the ride took us 50 minutes.  

We go home and I walk in the door.  Katie is sitting in the living room and she sees me.  "Delaney, come quick, look at mom!"  Delaney and her friend Hannah run down the stairs, they all laugh at me!  

I'm very proud of Bob.  He was very patient with me.  He basically had no challenge whatsoever on this ride and just helped me out!!!  Thanks, Bob.  I love you.

I've had a big day, I need to take a nap and did I mention, my butt is killing me!!!